Ripe like a Smile

Photo by Adelle Drake

Like many women, I can struggle to find joy in food. Since before I can remember, there has been a voice in my head asking me to be smaller – to take up less space, to learn to love cucumber water for breakfast, to say goodbye to bread, to cheese, and to like how I look in the mirror. 

Having been surrounded by women my whole life, firstly at an all-girls’ school and now by my wonderful girlfriends, it strikes me that we can all be blind to how our relationship with food impacts our relationships with others. Even my mother can be ignorant (or willfully ignorant) to how her comments about her food intake can make me obsess over mine.

In an era where food is displayed and discussed ad mortem, thinking about feeding oneself can appear a mammoth task. Food can carry a specific kind of shame with it – one which is quasi-biblical, approaching gluttony; one which stomps all over a dinner with friends, a first date, or a family lunch. After watching the women in my life struggle for years, and struggling myself, I find that the most useful attack against food shame is stomping right back. 

Finding joy in eating is not something many young women are used to. When was the last time you felt free enough to eat with your hands, messy and unrestrained in the face of calorie counting or dieting? What is your favorite comfort food? When did you last let yourself really, really enjoy it? 

I have started a wonderful tradition amongst my friends which I encourage you all to share – I call it (creatively) “Orange Shower.” Patent pending. 

First, you go for a little walk to the nearest market. Play a good album on the way there – my choices at the moment are Nina Simone’s ‘“Nuff Said!”’ which is better on vinyl, and Nicki Minaj’s ‘“Pinkprint’,” which is a timeless classic. Once shopping, head to the fruit section and take your sweet time picking an orange. You want it to be just on the turning point of ripeness – a bright color, heavy and a bit firm to the touch. Smile wide, then touch the skin of your chin where it stretches – you should feel the same kind of firmness that you are looking for in the orange. It is important not to buy anything else at the shop – you should be totally focused on your little orange. 

Once you’re home with your orange, open the window in your bathroom and listen to whatever is outside – don’t play any music. I like to execute “Orange Shower” during the day, with the sun filling up the room like water against the tiled walls of my bathroom. Take your orange into the shower with you, or leave it within reach on the sink. Wash your body, your hair, exfoliate – whatever, just have a shower. 

When you are almost done, turn the water a little bit cold – not freezing, this isn’t a guide for venture capitalists or podcast bros. Just the wrong side of lukewarm will do. Then, pick up your orange and tear it apart with your hands. I encourage you to be really messy, spraying orange pieces and pulp everywhere, mashing the orange flesh into your mouth with both hands cupped to your lips.

Eat your orange – and I mean really, eat it! Enjoy it! Be free with your food! Decimate the orange as much as possible, and save the skin and any bits you don't want. This is an exercise in loving your food and your body at the same time, so when you are finished eating your slightly wet orange, wash the sticky juice from your hands and towel off. This is where the recipe comes in. 

SIMMER POT FROM NUMBER 31

INGREDIENTS 

Winter Version: 

What's left of your orange 

Stick of cinnamon 

Cloves 

Mixed spice 

Star anise 

500 ml water (about two cups)

Summer Version:

What’s left of your orange 

Lemon 

Vervain 

Rosemary 

Mint or Lavender (pick one!)

Ginger root 

500ml water (about 2 cups)

Method: 

1- Put your water in a pan and bring it to a boil. Add all of your ingredients. 

2- Boil for about 5 minutes and then cut the heat to simmer. 

3- Simmer for a few hours (or longer), topping up the water as needed. 

4- Once you are sick of the smell, cut the heat entirely. Drain and throw away the aromatics, or freeze the contents of the whole pot for a later date – it can be used again! 

The Orange Shower and the simmer pot are exercises in understanding how food can make an impact on your environment in a way that is (hopefully) stress-free. It can be especially useful on those days when you aren’t feeling your best, and don’t feel up to the mental challenge of eating properly. There are always little things you can do for yourself and your environment, like taking a little walk, being freely and deliberately messy, and making your house smell wonderful for days to come. The simmer pot is stronger than any candle – chiefly because you have put so much of yourself into it. 

This piece was included in our inaugural print issue, Taboo. To explore this edition of MEUF Magazine,  please visit the issues page.